Inheritance has always given something to talk about, whether it happens smoothly or ends up causing a big fight. Leaving something to someone after death has been even the plot for series and movies, and it’s not all invented. The inspiration comes from real life.
In the United States, a man with 3 children thought he was doing good by deciding to share his inheritance, after his best friend suffered a health scare that made him end up at the hospital.
The good side of the story is that his best friend was fine, discharged the same day and recovered well, however, the experience led him to see a lawyer and organize his will.
The father in question has 2 daughters and 1 son. When he sat down to do the numbers, he decided the most logical and fair would be to divide everything in three equal parts. In his mind, he believed they all should receive the same since he loves them equally, and they all had the same opportunities. But when he told his wife about the decision, her first reaction was: “that’s not fair.”
Equal parts vs. different needs
The vision is the center of their disagreement:
From the father’s side, being fair means giving each one the same amount of money. He looks at the past and tries to continue with the same method: he offered the three of them support and education in a similar way. That’s why he felt that giving a third to each one would be the logical solution.
Now, the mother sees it otherwise; she looks at the present: Their two daughters are successful doctors, with very high incomes and a financially stable life, they make more than $200.000 a year, own a home and are both also married to people with sixth figures salaries. Their son, in the other hand, didn’t follow an academic path. He works as a mechanic in a friend’s workshop and lives on rent.
Fear of resentment when he is no longer there
For the father, is the total opposite of not caring, leaving his inheritance is a big deal, and his afraid that he leaves a bigger part of his patrimony to his son, then his daughters might feel hurt and betrayed. He fears once he’s gone, they might thin he loved one more than the other. Which could eventually create problems between the children.
He knows that his daughters are independent and doing well financially, but he also knows that inheritance issues tend to arouse strong emotions. Sometimes the brothers stay only with the numbers and forget the whole story behind it. He doesn’t want money to become a symbol of preference. Besides today’s situation could change in a few years. For him, an equal cast sends a simple message: he wants them all equally.
Although his still trapped between the two perspectives, the father holds his decision towards sharing in equal parts. He wants to be fair, but now, his not sure wat fair means anymore.
What is really “fair” in a family?
The situation of this family shows how complicated decisions about inheritance can become, even when there is still no open conflict. The father wants equality; the mother wants balance according to need. They both care about their children and try to protect them, but they do it in different ways.
What would you do in this situation? What’s clear is that talking about it might be the right way to find a peaceful solution. If the kids are now aware they could all share ideas and find a solution altogether that would benefit the whole family.