It is important to choose a good circle of people around us and stay away from those who only seek their own well-being. Haven’t you experienced that while having a conversation with someone, you feel it is a monologue on their part and that what you have to say doesn’t interest them at all? According to the European Institute of Positive Psychology, it is important to pay attention to this type of behavior, as it can reveal personality traits of the other person, such as narcissism, emotional manipulation, or lack of empathy.
Being aware of these behavioral patterns can help us avoid entering a toxic relationship, where the other person often treats us with very little emotional intelligence, carrying out practices such as gaslighting or minimizing our emotions and directly targeting our self-esteem.
Surround yourself with good people
It is important to surround yourself with a circle of people who interact with emotional intelligence and do not wish to harm us. However, there are times in life when we encounter people who drag us into highly toxic relationships, so it is important to detect certain behavior patterns before reaching that point in order to avoid it. Psychology advises paying attention to certain behaviors that can be noticed even in a simple conversation. These are behaviors that are easy to detect and can save us a lot of time, distress, and unpleasant experiences.
What aspects should we consider?
According to psychologists, a conversation between two people is a very good opportunity to identify this type of pattern. One of the behaviors to watch for is when the other person monopolizes the conversation, that is, rather than a conversation, it becomes a monologue in which they are only interested in what they have to say, without allowing the other person to express themselves. This shows that they have no interest in listening to what the other has to say, revealing a trait of egocentrism. This usually escalates when not only do they not let others speak, but when they do, they minimize any opinion or expression of the interlocutor.
They tend to diminish what the other has to say, as they are only interested in their own viewpoint. Another aspect that can help us is when a veiled criticism is made. This happens a lot with those people who say, ‘I am very honest.’ Well, one can be honest without needing to say everything one thinks, especially when the goal is to directly target the other person’s self-esteem. The lack of empathy is one of the clearest signs, because in the long run, any relationship in which one party only thinks about their own well-being without putting themselves in the other’s place will become unsustainable.
According to explanations from the European Institute of Positive Psychology, these patterns can be accompanied by a pessimistic attitude and constant complaining, which conveys pessimism and hinders communication. How can one maintain a relationship with someone who only looks out for themselves, who has no intention of listening to what the other person has to say, who does not make constructive criticism but rather harmful comments, and for whom everything is a grievance? Well, if it’s not impossible, it is certainly very difficult and torturous.
Is the rule always followed?
According to psychologists, besides the conversation itself, you should pay attention to how you feel after having it. Many times, after finishing a conversation with a person of this type, we may feel devalued or anxious, even sad. If this happens, it is very likely that the person you just interacted with has very toxic personality traits.