Do you know the speaker Victor Küppers? He is a Spanish lecturer who talks about happiness and human behavior, with a somewhat overly optimistic approach, in my opinion. He is not a psychologist, but he defines himself as an expert in positive psychology, and his talks focus on personal productivity and individual success, as well as the different ways to achieve them. In one of his latest talks, he referred to people who operate in service mode. Have you heard of it? According to him, these are those people who are always available, cheerful, and eager to help and care for others, far beyond what is normal.
Through this behavioral pattern, he refers to qualities like compassion and generosity, as if they were something positive. I would like to clarify that, personally, I do not agree with his statements. When a person has that helpful pattern, there is a background of upbringing and psychology that has nothing to do with being a positive and happy person. However, I will detail in this article the definitions and statements made by Küppers, and his way of understanding this behavior.
Victor Küppers, who is this person?
Making it clear that he is not a psychologist, Küppers holds a doctorate in Humanities and a degree in Business Administration and Management. He also works as a university professor specializing in positive psychology, and is additionally a speaker and communicator. Both his talks and the outreach content found on social media are aimed at personal development, optimism, and attitude towards life, all under a positive psychology approach. According to him, human values, joy, enthusiasm, generosity, and greatness in personal and professional life are the keys to achieving success and a fulfilling life.
“Service mode”
According to Küppers, helping is a way of being, “We all know people like that, who everything is for others. How can I make you feel better? What do you need? How can I help you?” According to him and positive psychology, this type of person sees care, service, and being attentive to everyone as an intrinsic way of behaving, which has nothing to do with sacrifice. He gives this example, “I have a friend who is one of those that when you walk down the street and say: ‘What a nice t-shirt!’ And you know that after 15 minutes she’ll figure out a way to come back wearing the shirt and ‘Here’s the t-shirt.'” He describes this behavior as a natural way of relating to the world, (Spoiler: it is definitely not).
The connection between service and vital joy
To illustrate this theory even better and bring it down to a daily life example, he explains: ‘You are having dinner with your partner, she is exhausted. It’s your turn, she has to wash the dishes, well, damn it, I will do it for you. That is compassion.’ And he continues, ‘And when you are washing the dishes, you are thinking: ‘Damn, what a load of crap compassion is, I always get stuck doing it.’ This honesty about the initial resistance makes the message more authentic and attainable.
The reward, however, comes later: ‘But afterwards you feel good.’ In other words, according to Küppers, this type of person, despite not wanting to do something initially, does it, and afterwards feels happy because that is their nature.Despite basing his talk on the explanation that this type of person is this way for intrinsic reasons, he ends up saying that they are gestures that we all can have and that can make a difference in our perception of the happiness in life.