A Harvard University study on happiness led by Robert Waldinger has found the most common human regret at the end of life. According to Waldinger, happiness lies in different aspects depending on gender; women regret having paid too much attention to “what will be said”, leaving aside their own authenticity, while men regret having worked so much and not having dedicated quality time to their human relationships. The author Enrique Rojas also gathers this type of conclusions in his book Comprende tus emociones (Understand your emotions), through which he explains how to maintain a better quality of life.
Robert Waldinger
Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Director of the Center for Psychodynamic Therapy and Research at Massachusetts General Hospital and Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, Robert Waldinger has dedicated his life to the study of psychiatry. Born in Omaha, USA, and 74 years old, he continues to devote his time to studying the reason for human happiness and well-being. Author of the acclaimed book The Good Life, he is the leader of the longest study on happiness ever conducted.
How would you define happiness?
The concept of happiness is really complicated to define. There are as many meanings as there are people in the world. Each individual can find happiness in different aspects. For some it is a memory, a person, a song, a lifestyle, job stability, having good health, having a healthy environment, and so on and so on and so on. Harvard University has been studying human happiness for 85 years, and has been able to reach the conclusion that “it does not depend so much on material things like money or fame, but on the quality of our interpersonal relationships”.
Harvard University Happiness Study
It is considered the longest study on happiness ever conducted, with Robert Waldinger at the helm. It began in 1983 and after 80 years, it has begun to draw its conclusions. Throughout this time, he has analyzed thousands of participants, taking into account aspects such as their emotional, physical and mental health, their interpersonal relationships, lifestyle, purchasing power and preferences. The results are as revealing as they are heartwarming, having reached the following conclusions:
- People who enjoy a social circle with strong and healthy interpersonal relationships have been shown to have better health and longer life expectancy.
- The presence of satisfactory interpersonal relationships has been directly related to the absence of chronic diseases.
- The vital importance of maintaining social ties at all stages of life.
- The threat posed by loneliness to both mental and physical health.
Although other aspects such as mentality, life purpose or physical and mental care have been valued, the importance of relationships and social ties occupy the first place by far. It could be said that we can have everything in life, but if we have no one to share it with, what is the point?
Differences according to gender
According to the Harvard study has revealed that as we approach the end of our lives, human beings begin to regret what we have never done. According to their results, the reasons vary depending on whether you are a woman or a man. On the one hand, women regret having paid too much attention to “what will be said”, leaving aside their authenticity and hiding who they really wanted to be. In a society where everything is looked at with a magnifying glass, especially on women, the motivation to be oneself has ended up being capped.
On the other hand, men show greater regret for having dedicated too much time to work life, and not having invested in taking care of their interpersonal relationships. It is curious to think that one of the regrets of men is usually one of the causes of greater pain in women throughout their lives. In short, the human being. It is important to establish a roadmap and priorities throughout our lives so that, when the time comes, our list of regrets is as short as possible.